if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I want to be your penis for a week.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
