but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
