if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
