awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
