if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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