I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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