What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
