the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
