Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
