That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
