I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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