i think i have herpe
just one?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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