I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
