Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
