There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
