I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
