D3 body, D1 cock
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
