next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
They have beer where we have blood.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
