oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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