went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
