not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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