If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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