i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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