I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
