if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
