you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We have started to decorate penises.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
