Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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