So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
