There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
