hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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