I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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