I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So much Jack, so little girl.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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