Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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