What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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