I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
