Screwed.edu
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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