Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
