she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The Olympian is in my bed
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
