were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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