Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
