I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
