OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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