Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
