Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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