Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
