and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
