Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
