I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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