does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
