oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
