I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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