What did we do last night that was yellow?
You can't special order awesome
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
