its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
